Mondays are going to be my day to pimp out my friends (or anyone/anything else that I like) in a very non-pay-the-rent way. In my first post, I mentioned my friend, Teresa. She’s currently doing a Twelve Posts of Christmas feature on her blog. Her first post really grossed me out, but also really made me laugh. She wrote about how eating boogers sort of became her thing and defined the person that she is today in a very roundabout way. To my knowledge, she’s no longer a booger-eater, although I think she does like beets.
We all have gross-out stories from our childhoods that are funny as crap now that we’re adults. It’s these stories that you tell to others so that they can reply, “Ohhhhh,” as in, “Ohhhhh, that’s why you’re such a weirdo.” It’s like it restores people’s faith in a logical world. Weirdos don’t happen randomly. No, my friends, they are made. They are made through a combination of hardwork, dysfunction, and grossness. Finding the delicate balance between these three things is what determines if you’ll end up being a blogging sensation that’s sweeping the nation or a serial killer. Every now and then you really screw things up and end up with someone like Psy, but I’m sure he’ll be okay in the long run if he invests well now.
I was a pretty gross kid because, you know, I was a kid. Since my mom grew up in the Philippines, she made me eat things on a daily basis that she insisted were food even if the other kids in the neighborhood insisted that she was a filthy liar. All the kids who made fun of me then have now decided that the gross foods are culinarily adventurous. I’m pretty sure the neighborhood kids thought I was going to go the One Hit Wonder route, but instead, I grew up to be a very boring adult. I have also steered clear of boogers for a good two or three years now, but I will never like beets.