Random Saturdays – Work Jerks

(I just realized that I never published this post last week, which works out well because I’m not sure what to write about this week.)

I recently went to the dentist for a cleaning.  I told Ben that I was a bit nervous about this appointment because it hasn’t been long enough since my traumatic root canal.  I told him that if the dentist told me that I need more work done, I’d just let my teeth fall out and give up on it all.  He consoled me by reminding me that I could always get implants.  He meant dental implants, but I just told everyone at work that he wanted me to get implants, knowing they would assume I meant breast implants.  I laughed alot and he turned beet red alot.  As my BFF, Erica jumped on board and told people she wished that she could have my implants.  Good times for all!

As it turns out, I don’t need implants (dental or otherwise), but I do need more dental work.  I have sealants that need to be replaced with fillings because I clench my teeth too much when I sleep.  This is why I need crowns (and possibly root canals) too.  I tried using night guards, but they bother my teeth and gums and don’t last long.  I can’t afford to pay $30 every 2 months on dental guards.  Once I get all of my dental work done, the dentist will fit me with a dental guard specifically molded to my teeth, but in the meantime, I’m stuck with clenching, but no pain or dental guards and lots of pain.  First world problems, right?

So, why is it that I’m clenching so much that my entire jaw is falling apart?  I don’t really know, but I like to blame it on jerks at work.  That’s right.  I’m blaming my dental problems on jerks.  I’m blaming my painful root canal on the guy that wanted me to assign work to a big boss guy who may or may not have been out of the country at the time.  This same jerk wanted me to assign the big boss guy’s secretary to something else.  I asked if he could please double check and let me know who would be able to actually do all of this work and he told me that I was “waisting” his time.  Unless he was in the middle of an English Language and Usage class, I seriously doubt that I was “waisting” his time.

I’m blaming my jacked up sealants on another jerk.  I was trying to assign work to someone, but I needed to make sure that person would have all of the info needed to do the work.  This included a way to check to make sure that the work went through properly.  When I asked the guy who wrote the instructions for this work to give me the QA steps, he turned all jerkface on me.  Apparently, this night’s jerk had 45 minutes to argue with me, but didn’t have time to answer my questions because his project was due in “TWO WEEKS”.  Eventually, his boss spent 30 minutes writing instructions for that and a few other things that Jerk Face told me were impossible to do.  Also of note, this project due in “TWO WEEKS” was actually due last September.  It was extended into spring of this year.  Then, he forgot about the project until someone’s boss’s boss apparently asked about the status of the project.  You can’t even imagine what little sympathy I have for this jerk.

My favorite jerk of late was the one that called me at 2 am to have me extend two maintenance windows for two different things, “just for starters” because he might actually need more time than that and he’d call me back later if he did.  Thirty minutes later, I got a call from someone telling me that the work was complete and I could shorten the windows (something that doesn’t happen).  The same jerk that had me extend these windows, wanted me to schedule two things the next day.  When he didn’t answer the questions I asked so that I could do something to make his job easier, I scheduled the work without his answer.  He later asked someone else to answer my question, so I fixed my work.  Then, he told me that this would all need to be rescheduled for the next night (which is not as easy as it sounds).  After I finished that an hour later, the jerk told me that this stuff would probably need to be rescheduled for the following night, and requested that I “stand by”.  He never said how long I was supposed to stand by, but I didn’t stand by at all.  The next morning, I got an email from this jerk finally answering a question of mine that had since become completely irrelevant.  This guy is supposed to be one of our better employees and is in charge of one of our most important customers.  If you only knew, believe me, you’d be a clenchin’ yer teeths, too!  He also contacted my team a week later to have all of that rescheduled again, even though it might need to be rescheduled again after that.  Yup.

I’m not sure which of my teeth problems to blame on the last jerk.  Maybe I’ll blame him for the headaches that I sometimes get from teeth clenching.  No, nevermind.  Scratch that.  I’m going to reassign blame to him for my allergic reaction to antibiotics that I had for my root canal.  No, wait!  He can have the blame for something that may or may not happen tonight or tomorrow or the next day.  Or maybe not.  Maybe he can’t have any of the blame.  Or he can have all of it.  Or some of it.  Or none of it.

Ugh.  Work jerks!  Bah!  Boo!  Flibberty gibbert!  At least stupid jerks provide me with the job security needed to pay for all these teeth problems.


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