Stuff People Say – Tall Flat White

Me — Hello!  Could I please have a tall flat white with nonfat milk?

We finish ordering and paying.

Barista — Nonfat tall flat white.  Try saying that three times fast!

Ben — Normally, they’re called supermodels.


Stuff People Say – Amanda

The following is an actual email exchange I had at work.

Coworker — Hi Team.  How do I determine which [person on another team] will be working the following CR’s[…]?

Angela — Have you checked with [the other team]?

30 minutes later

Coworker — Yes, I did.  Thanks Amanda.

Angela — *giant sigh*

Stuff People Say – Cake

Angela — I saved a piece of cake for you.

Brian — Oh.

Angela — You don’t want it?

Brian — What kind is it?

Angela — Slightly used. [holds out a slice of frostingless red velvet cake]


Stuff People Say – Princess Ear

I wanna be a princess! I wanna be a princess!  I wanna be a princess!

–sung by Dora repeatedly for 10 minutes straight, until…
*commotion, tears, and yelling*

I don’t wanna be a princess no more ’cause I keeped saying, ‘I wanna be a princess,’ and then I fell and busted my ear and need a bandaid now.

–Dora, our clumsy and logical lil girl


Stuff People Say – Football Diet

Minecraft — I think my butt is shrinking.

Me — Why do you say that?

Minecraft — Or maybe my legs are shrinking.

Ben — Why do you think your butt and legs are shrinking?

Minecraft — Because my pants are falling down.

Ben — Or you could be losing weight from playing football.

Minecraft — Yeah, I probably am shrinking from playing football.


Stuff People Say – Asian Food

Ben– [Angela’s] eaten more Asian food since she started dating me than she has in years.

Alan — Really?

Angela — Yeah, since my mom left.  My other friends don’t want to eat it because they don’t know what it is.

Alan — Yeah, we eat some weird shit.


Stuff People Say – Clumsiness

Angela — What’s green and white and purple and blue?

Minecraft — What?

Angela — Minecraft falling down the stairs.

Minecraft — [hysterical laughter] That really does happen.



Stuff People Say – Pay with Cards

Ben — What’re you going to pay with?  The money in your wallet that someone stole all the money out of at Chuck E. Cheese?

Lego– At least they didn’t take my library card!


Angela Dec202012


Stuff People Say – Ah, Youth

Someone — That’s not what [One Direction looks] like anymore.

11-yr-old Girl — No, that’s when they were young and pretty.


Stuff People Say – Hayride

“I need to go straighten myself up. A and B are going to be here soon and I look like I feel off the back of a hayride.”

–Erica, who, in her defense, had been sick for a week