Stuff People Say – Poor & Old

For my birthday, I thought I’d share a heart-warming conversation.  One weekend, I met up with Erica and her family.  She and her husband, Richard, were in the front seat of the SUV.  Braylon (9 yo), Eva (10 mo), and I (382 mo) were in the back.

Braylon (Age 9) — Hey, Angela.  You watch Cartoon Network, right?

Me — No, I don’t have cable.

Braylon — But you remember when it was invented, right?

Random Saturdays – Cinco de Mayo 2013

Growing up in my neck of the cement jungle, Cinco de Mayo was a huge deal.  In elementary school, we had a school-wide assembly where we’d pile into the auditorium to watch students and teachers sing and dance to traditional Mexican songs.  As adults, Amanda and I have always looked forward to Cinco de Mayo as a way to rekindle the excitement of those elementary school assemblies.  Most of the time, this just means getting Taco Bell and watching movies like The Mexican.  At some point, we invented some story from which we created the saying, “Have a heart — it’s Cinco de Mayo!”  This year, we decided to have a heart by splurging.

We went to Cristina’s because Amanda had never been and it was close to a move theater.  The service was okay, although it’s usually much better.  We wanted dessert, but decided to go get fresh ice cream sandwiches at another place.  That place was closed, so we just went to Barnes & Noble to get treats in the bookstore café.  This is where the fun really started.

Me — Hi.  Could I get an iced green tea, please?
Teenaged Cashier — Oh, we’re out of iced tea.  We just used up the last of what we had today.
Me — Oh, so you don’t have tea?
Teenaged Cashier — No.  We just had a little left, and it wasn’t enough for a whole cup, so we just threw it out.
Me — Oh, okay.  That’s okay.  Could I just get a cup of water–
Teenaged Cashier — We have a water fountain over to the side.  Is that okay?
Me — Uh, yeah, sure.  That’s fine (thinking that she would give me a cup to fill).  Then, could I just get a shortbread sugar cookie?
Teenaged Cashier — Sure.  That’s blah blah blah…(takes my payment, hands me a cookie, but no cup, and walks away)

I turned to Amanda.

Me — They’re out of iced tea.
Amanda — Do they not have hot tea and ice?
Me — I don’t know.  She said they have no tea.

Amanda waits for the Teenaged Cashier to return.

Amanda — (in a very condescending voice) Do you have hot tea?
Teenaged Cashier — (cheerfully) Yes.
Me — (surprised) I  thought you didn’t have tea.
Amanda — Do you have cups that you can put ice in?
Teenaged Cashier — Yes.
Amanda — Okay, then I’m going to get the [some flavor of] hot tea.  I would also like a cup with ice.
Teenaged Cashier — Sure, we can do that.
Me — You couldn’t do that for me.
Amanda — Could I also get a cup of water?
Teenaged Cashier — Yes, of course.
Me — Why couldn’t I get a cup of water?
Amanda — And I’d also like a blondie.
Teenaged Cashier — Okay.
[Amanda pays]
Amanda — Thank you.
Teenaged Cashier — No problem!
Me — Really?  No problem?  It was a problem when I asked for all of this stuff.

Friggin’ teenagers!  We ate our treats and drank our beverages.  When we got to the theater, the 10:16 pm showing was sold out, but the 10:15 pm showing wasn’t.

Amanda — How full is the 10:15 showing of Iron Man 3?
Box Office Girl — Let me check…There are 215 seats left.
Me and Amanda — Oh, okay, good, good.
[Amanda buys her ticket]
Me — Hi.  Could I get one ticket for the same thing, please?
Box Office Girl — [turning around to look for help] Actually, I don’t know what happened, but it just sold out.
Me and Amanda — What?!
Box Office Girl — Yeah, it just showed…I don’t know what happened…
Me — But there were just over 200 seats available…
Box Office Girl — I know.  It’s now saying Sold Out.  I don’t know if I did something or…
Me and Amanda — 0_0
Box Office Girl — Just kidding!

Oh, how we laughed!  Good one, Box Office Girl, good one.

I have to sit pretty far back in movie theaters because sitting close to a movie screen gives me migraines.  This meant that we had to sit near the top, just behind a row half-filled with teenagers.  Not a single one of those dumbasses were talking to each other;  they were all playing on their phones.  They weren’t even doing anything interesting, just going in and out of apps while nothing happened.  Two of those little jerks actually texted during the movie!  Can you believe that?!  One of them was the boy sitting in front of Amanda, so I kicked the back of his seat the entire time he was texting because I turn into a vengeful child when my $11 Robert Downey, Jr. movie is interrupted.  It wasn’t even an important text.  “I’m so bored.  I’m in a movie.”  Are you kidding me???  Spoiled brats.  At the end of the movie, the kids mumbled about how the movie wasn’t even that good.  What the what?!  It was my favorite of the Iron Man trilogy.  Whippersnappers.  I said loudly, “I can’t believe these kids were texting during the movie.  Nothing on your texts was more interesting than that movie.  I know because I could see your texts because you were texting during a movie.”

The good food, funny Box Office Girl, good movie, and good friendship made for a wonderful Cinco de Mayo 2013, despite crappy teenagers.  Looking forward to next year, already!

Iron Man loves Cinco de Mayo!

Iron Man has a heart on Cinco de Mayo!

Random Saturday – The Buddy Mommas on Spring Break

Olga, Amanda, and I refer to ourselves as The Buddy Mommas.  We came up with the name as teenagers, but that story deserves its own blog post.  Since everyone else is on Spring Break this week, I decided to just steal that for the title of this post, even though none of us are on Spring Break.  Olga just flew in this week to visit friends and family, and Amanda and I took Wednesday off so we could hang out with Olga.

Buddy Mommas wear Converse and corduroys.

Buddy Mommas wear Converse and corduroys.

We started with our traditional brunch at Legal Grounds, which was Olga’s first visit.  After filling up on prom cakes, french toast, and coffee beverages, we headed towards Dallas Blooms.

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This is Ponce de Leon’s Fountain of Youth. These people were all over 120 years old before they found it.

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Blooms in Dallas

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Olga — “Ooh, Shamrocks!”
Me — “Aren’t these just clovers?”
Olga — “Yeah, but they’re still pretty.”
Amanda — “Yeah, that’s why I’m taking a picture of ’em.”
Me — “Oh, yeah, they are pretty. Someone could tell me they were called ‘Cow Poop’ and I’d say, ‘Well Cow Poop sure is pretty.'”

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Whoville tree amid the tulips

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The phone in Mr. DeGrolyer’s library as compared to an iPhone. The iPhone came with no instructions. The DeGrolyer phone tells you to call information for instructions on how to place a call.

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Durned pretty flowers

When we finished admiring the flowers and people-watching, we decided to go to the mall.  While there, Olga and I got the brilliant idea to go to the Mermaid Bar at Neiman Marcus to get some of the tea and snacks that we always hear Amanda talking about (she works at the store).  Amanda had some kind of orange spice tea (that I wish I had gotten) and shared some cookies with Olga.  I split a piece of lemon cake with Olga and we both had tea.  I liked the tea, but wasn’t at all impressed by the lemon cream cheese cake – very pretty, very yellow, too sweet, cream cheese frosting tasted like buttercream, cake had good texture, but little-to-no lemon flavor.  Then, we went across the street to kill time at an outdoor mall until it was time to meet Olga’s parents for dinner.  (Yay!  We got to see them afterall!)  We decided to go to Twisted Root since neither Olga, nor her parents, had been there before.  We gorged on great burgers and root beer (this particular location had regular and maple syrup root beer, the last of which seemed to have a richer flavor than the regular root beer).  Then we headed up the street to Krispy Kreme for dessert.

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Olga had that cream filling from her Oreo donut on her face for 10 minutes while she made fun of how ridiculous the rest of us were. She sucked it up and allowed us to take a photo though. Jolly good sport!

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Amanda and I were all class, as usual. Note that I didn’t finish the last bite of my Oreo donut because it didn’t have any Oreo on it, thus, saving space for my donut with sprinkles;  I’m a sensible eater.

After all of that delicious junk food, I went home and worked out…possibly too hard.  Between standing all day and working out so hard, I could barely walk the next day.  I intended to make lime shortbread to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day at work on Friday, but I couldn’t stand up long enough to make it.  Even so, all that pain was completely worth it.  Now, without further ado — Quotes!

At Legal Grounds:

  • “They need to be stabbed in the mouth so they’ll shut up.” — Me, we had just told Olga about the last time Amanda and I were at Legal Grounds, then we discussed the trend of people calling you rude when you shush them at the library or during a movie
  • “You get excited and start slobbering…” — Amanda, describing her reaction to someone she knows that talks too much and tends to be overly excited about everything

On our way to the mall:

  • “I don’t even want a guy I like calling me, ‘sweetie’.  He needs to call me, ‘Master,’ or something.”– Me, on how annoying it is to be called “sweetheart”, “sweetie”, etc. by people that you aren’t close to/are younger than you/you have no interest in, as a friend or otherwise

Twisted Root:

  • “Dad’s up to his ass in pope.” — Olga’s Mom, on what Olga’s parents had been doing that day (Note:  Pope Francis was chosen that day.  Olga’s Dad is usually up to his ass in Aldi’s wine and The Weather Channel.)
  • “It’s amazing how many kids turn 15.” — Olga’s Dad, on Quincineras
  • “If there ever was a female pope, it’d be my cousin, Nancy.”– Olga’s Mom, after our discussion on women’s roles (or lack thereof) in the Catholic Church
  • “Roaches scare easier.” — Olga, discussing the downside of grandchildren (Note:  Her parents’ grandchildren, not hers)
  • “Best fried chicken I ever had!  I ate ’til I threw up!  I felt like a Roman!”– Olga’s Dad, on the first time that he went to his wife’s annual family reunion (Note:  Olga’s parents are going to Rome this summer.  I’m looking forward to seeing how her well her dad blends in with Romans.)

Krispy Kreme:

  • “What am I gonna have for breakfast?” — Olga’s Mom, as she sat in front of a box of 8 uneaten donuts
  • (as I took a bite of an Oreo Cookies and Cream Doughnut) “I’ll go to hell if you can drag my fat ass down there.” — Me, responding to our conversation of how certain religious folks cast judgement upon others so freely
  • “Just push on it you numb nut!” — Olga’s Dad, to Olga’s Mom as we tried to leave the soon-to-close donut shop

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone!