Stuff People Say – Flannels & Pain

(In regards to the early 90s)

“It was hip to slump.  ‘I wear a flannel.  I’m in pain.'”

–Amanda

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Pimping Saturdays – Music Edition: Old 97’s “Big Brown Eyes”

I grew up in a very musical household and have a deep love and appreciation for music.  If I could pick my dream career, I’d travel the world playing piano and singing.  I can’t sing or play piano, though, so I have to settle for listening to Sara Bareilles.  If I had to choose between being blind or deaf (not a choice I ever want to make), I would choose to be blind.  I don’t know if I could ever deal with the depression that would come with realizing that I would never listen to music again.  Never hear the opening to “Daytripper” again?  I can’t even imagine how terrible that’d be.  Even though I already love music, certain things get me extra pumped up about it (i.e. concerts).  Since the Maroon 5 concert last week, I’ve been listening to Neon Trees on Spotify, which led me to subscribe to my friend, Sarah’s, Justin Timberlake playlist, which gave me withdrawls for The Lumineers album that I’ve listened to at least once a day since I bought it last month.  I listened to The Lumineers at work this week, which made me think about R.E.M. for some reason.  So I listened to them, which made me think about the Old 97’s, so I listened to them next.

I remember listening to the Old 97’s on The Adventure Club in the 90s. When I met Olga, she had tape recordings of Old 97’s CDs/tapes from her brother.  She even let me copy them from her.  That’s a true friend, folks!  I’m trying to get rid of my DVDs and CDs now (finally got rid of the last of my cassette tapes last year), but I haven’t been able to part with my Old 97’s CDs yet.  I have the songs on my computer, iPod, iPhone, and cloud drives, but I still can’t part with the  physical discs.  At this point, I should say that my favorite type of song is what I call a Happy Broken Heart song.  These are sad songs with upbeat tempos.  One of my favorite Old 97’s Happy Broken Heart songs is “Big Brown Eyes”.  Fans of the Old 97’s know this as a classic tune that was actually recorded on two different albums.  To me, the biggest difference between the two are the lines, “I’ve got issues, yeah / Like I miss you, yeah”.  I think Rhett Miller sounds more desperate on Wreck Your Life than he does on Too Far To Care, and I like the desperate version better.  [Insert joke here]  On that note, please enjoy this Happy Broken Heart song!

Pimp It Mondays – Ask a Gay Guy

In my last post, I mentioned my friend, Gabriel.  It just so happens that he has a website called Ask a Gay Guy and a book to go along with it.  The general premise is that you can email questions about gay culture and get honest answers.  There’s also a link on the site in case you wanna vent about anything and your friends are all tired of listening to you.  There’s no guarantee that Gabriel will read your entire rant and respond to it in a meaningful manner, but he might make fun of you in a delightfully hilarious way on his Facebook page.

Buy this book!  It's only $.99 and part of the proceeds go to charity, so even if you don't want to read it, you might burn in hell if you don't buy it.

Buy this book! It’s only $.99 and part of the proceeds go to charity.  So even if you don’t want to read it, you might burn in hell if you don’t buy it.

I met Gabriel in high school.  We both spoke Sarcasm and hated ourselves as much as we loved each other.  When I first met him, he was a comic book nerd with nerd glasses and a protective flannel shirt that was the 90s version of a safety blanket.  My safety blanket took the form of either Doc Martens or Converse, depending on the mood of my feet.  By the end of the school year, he began working on revamping his image, which made me sad because I loved my little comic book nerd teddy bear friend.  I tell ya though, the ladies really loved the revamping.  Sadly for them, Gabriel preferred the romantic company of menfolk.  Gabriel continued to get cooler and better looking and I continued to not do either of those things.  We lost touch at some point, but he found me on Facebook a couple of years back.  We’re both too lazy to drive very far when we’re not going to work, but I might be living a bit closer to him once my lease is up, so I hope to start hanging out in person with him more often.  Let me also say that Gabriel, his husband (Kenneth), Amanda, Jane, and I can rock a Whatburger like it’s 1999.

Because I know Gabriel, and because I know he’s gay, I feel like he’s fully qualified to run a website and publish a book about The Gays.  The only things he’s more qualified to write about are funny insults and Aquaman.  Check out his site to read about gay and pop culture.  Email him if you have any questions.  Buy the book if you want more.  Make sure to follow him on Facebook and Twitter to stay up to date with the latest posts on Ask a Gay Guy.