Pimp It Mondays – Debediah

Behold! Da Debediah!

Behold! Da Debediah!

Here and there, I’ve mentioned Debediah, so I think it’s time that I give a bit of history on him.  Debediah is a character that my friends and I developed on blustery fall evening over Thanksgiving leftovers and an uproariously hilarious game of Scattergories.  You know how it is, you’re all under the pressure of a timer, all words have to start with D, and you’re just trying to write something down.  It makes sense at the time, kinda, but as everyone takes turns saying his or her answers, you start to realize that your Timer Reasoning might not be the best.  For “biblical names”, most of us put names like Daniel and David, but Teresa wrote, “Debediah.”  She didn’t have to feel bad though, because for “things that you plug in”, Lauren wrote, “Dude”.  It was such a funny answer that we gave her full credit.  I might have put some very inappropriate answers down for many of the prompts, but I was honestly surprised that nobody else had those answers.  At any rate, through much laughter, happy tears, and cajoling, Teresa and I began to act like Debediah for the rest of the night…and the rest of the trip.

Debediah is an old Southern gentlemen.  We don’t have his specific history, but we have enough to make him funny.  He’s like a more interesting Colonel Sanders.  I like to think that he never owned a plantation because he was not so much a rich, landowning racist as he was a stylish bon vivant.  He may or may not have any money at all really, and may have just travelled the world through a combination of luck and kindness from strangers.  What we do know is that something timey wimey happened and he ended up in the present day.  Technology confuses him, but he doesn’t care enough one way or another to really be crotchety about it.  He may or may not like women because he’s a Southern Gentlemen (kinda like how Americans have a hard time figuring out if a man from England is gay or just British), but he does find modern female attire both appalling and tantalizing.  He also likes to dance, his signature dance being especially impressive.

Debediah has his own Facebook page, Google+ page, and a Twitter account.  Cathy drew his profile pic and I did the first comic for him.  Our next step was to record a Google hangout, but it’s been difficult getting everyone to schedule a time to be online together.  I was waiting to do the hangout before I did another comic, but I’m thinking now that I should just do a bi-weekly comic and we can tape our Google hangouts whenever they happen.

(Aside:  I just realized that I wrote “tape” as a verb rather than “record”, which is something that people did before the year 2000.  I was going to fix that, but since I’m talking about Debediah, I figured “tape” would be impressive to him.)

Random Saturdays – Men and Their Crappy Health

My dad started complaining about this thing poking out of his belly button over seven years ago.  “It hurts and it pops out, so I have to push it back in,” is how he described it.  You’d see his face in pain and he’d rub his beer belly like a pregnant woman rubs her tummy.  I don’t remember exactly how, but he found out it was a hernia, and then did nothing about it.  At one point, the neighbor across the alley told my dad that he had the same problem and it’s a simple outpatient surgery.  I volunteered to take time off to drive my dad to and from appointments, take care of him while he recuperated, whatever he needed.  He just had to make the phone calls.  He claimed to have made them, but always had excuses for why the doctors were jerks who didn’t have time for him.

Cut to last summer when my step-mom finally made an appointment for my dad to see a doctor because the hernia caused my dad so much pain.  Before my dad made it to the appointment, I got a call from the ER.  My step-mom called an ambulance because my dad was in excruciating pain.  The doctor there gave my dad some pain pills and sent him home since my dad was due for surgery a few days later.  It was supposed to be outpatient surgery, but the surgeon saw, in medical terms, “a hot mess”.  The hernia had morphed into diverticulitis and perforations in the colon, which required a colostomy.

Even after all this, my friend, Cathy’s, boyfriend has a hernia and put off seeing a doctor for months.  Seriously???  Men – why do you hate being healthy?!  Why do you people do this?  Why do you wait and wait and wait to see the doctor?  Is it because you enjoy hearing the doctor say things like, “From a medical standpoint, you’re officially dead.”  Does it have something to do with zombie fantasies?

A slightly more whimsical metaphor for a man's festering gut

A slightly more whimsical metaphor for a man’s festering gut

I like my doctor, but I don’t like seeing her.  I see her because I have to for my health.  Taking care of your health is like doing yard work.  The longer you wait to take care of it, the worse it’s going to be.  If you wait too long, you’ll be forced to let others take care of it, at which point, they might have to chop down the big shade tree in your front yard because it’s diseased because you didn’t keep the pests away from it, so now you’ll be without shade and you have a gaping hole in your hard.  Good going men!  Hope you enjoy your crappy health and your ugly yard!

Thursday Progress Report – Where I Am

Thursdays on this blog will be for updates on any projects that I’m working on or goals that I’ve set for myself.  Sine this is the last full week of 2012, I’m going to sum up a few of the things I’m working on right now.  Most of these things were started after Thanksgiving, but I probably started the rest of them about this time last year.

1.  This Blog – Well, if you’re here, then you know.

Behold! Da Debediah!

Behold! Da Debediah!

2.  Debediah – This is an online entity that I created with my friends (including Cathy, Teresa, and Matt).  We’re working on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, and YouTube aspects of Debediah.  Our first three goals were to get the pages created, draw a profile pic, and to do the first comic.  We got those done, but we still need to record a video chat.  Then it’ll probably be lather, rinse, repeat.  I could probably continue working on Debediah comics while I wait for our video chat schedules to align.

3.  Knitting Christmas presents – I got a few done by Thanksgiving, even though I started in June.  I started on the last one just after Thanksgiving, but got too distracted by other Christmas chores, work, and other projects (see above) to finish.  I’ve gotta finish this ASAP though.

Those are the three big ones right now.  I’ve got smaller chores to do and personal goals to work on, but I’ll get into my 2013 goals next week.  This is my “Where I Am” post and next week will be my “Where I Want to Be” post.  Next Thursday’s post is probably going to be much longer.  So rest up in preparation for my double wide long 2013 Goals Post! (Not to be confused with goal post.  Is that a thing?  It sounded sporty.  My 2013 goals are in no way sporty.  At all.  Seriously.  You’ll be disappointed if you expect to see sports in them.  Not happening.  Not even a little.)