Random Saturdays – Am I an adult?

I think I’m an adult.  As far as my age goes, I’ve been an adult for awhile.  I’m relatively mature and responsible, I guess.  I’ve never felt like I was doing adulty things until recently.  All I ever talk about nowadays is work, the house, and the kids.  I’m so friggin’ adult now and it’s really weird.

Worse than that, I’m an old adult.  My mother-in-law recently had eye surgery and was telling us about all of these treatments she has to use for her eyes and for scars and whatnot.  I have to use those same things just so I can see and so that my skin doesn’t fall off of my face.  I get injured anytime I do anything, and I do mean anything.  I pulled a leg muscle walking around the couch.  A few weeks before that, I pulled the same muscle while walking upstairs.  WALKING!!!  I mean, come on!  I’m always tired and I’m always in pain.  I peek through the blinds when I hear people outside, trying to figure out if they’re messing with my lawn or the mailbox.  I am forgetful and easily confused.  I complain about anyone under the age of 35 who doesn’t have the exact same pop culture knowledge as I do.  I am an old, crotchety, and sickly adult.  I’m grateful that there’s an old folks home at the end of our street.  Ben and the kids have already promised to visit me when they have to admit me to the place in the next 10 years.  They’re so sweet!

Right now, my priorities include not screwing up at work, house training the puppy, working with the puppy on her food aggression, and unpacking the house.

Work – Ugh, work.  It’s killing my soul.  I hate my job so much right now.  Most everyone there does.  The company is just making some terrible decisions that are causing us all to work more for terrible results.  I need a new job, but I have too many other things going on right now.  There will be another round of layoffs before the end of the year, so my schedule might allow for some job searching soon enough.

House Training – She’s a puppy.  She’s about 4 months old.  She’s gotten so much better, but is scared of the new doggie door that we had to install after she broke the first one. Ahem  We’re still trying to get her not to pee out of excitement or submission the first time she sees you each day.

Food Aggression – My god.  She had shown no signs of food aggression other than gobbling her food down so quickly that she often chokes.  As a test, I stuck my hand in the puppy’s food bowl while she was eating, which you should be able to do if your dog has no food aggression.  She started with a growl and it just escalated from there.  The second day, she went absolutely nuts – biting, jumping, and scratching me.  Ben confirmed that she’s more aggressive with me than him.  I’ve read up on it and am going to try some behavioral training.  If there’s no improvement after a couple of months, we might need to consult an expert.  I don’t want to have to worry about the kids looking at her the wrong way while she’s eating and getting their faces chewed off because of some ingrained primal dog instinct.

Unpacking – Yes, we’re still unpacking.  Ben has been focused on getting our internet, cable, and electricity specified to our needs.  I’m focused on setting up the rest of the house.  Between work, injuries, and the Texas heat, I’m usually too exhausted or in too much pain to do much.  We did get the entryway halfway done this weekend.  So, that was pretty exciting.  I wanted to get it set up before the kids went back to school.  You can see my entryway inspirations on my Pinterest page.  I’ll post some photos once it’s all done.

Yeah, so that’s what I’ve been up to.  I also weigh more than I ever have in my life because I bounce between eating nothing and eating everything depending on my levels of stress, exhaustion, and tummy troubles.  The doctor told me she wants me to lose 10 lbs before my next check up.  I told her that I had too many other things to focus on right now and would deal with my weight later.  She told me again to lose 10 lbs before my next check up.  *sigh*  At least my blood pressure is great, right?  The little things do matter!

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Stuff People Say – Gray Hair

Amanda and I saw two teenaged boys take a picture of a random guy’s crappy sports car at a gas station.  I commented:

“I’m surprised they didn’t want to take a picture of my [Ford Focus].

A few minutes later, Walking on Sunshine” played at a moderate volume on the car radio as I continued to mock all the ways Amanda and I are not young or hip:

“Those hip girls were listening to some underground song about sunshine and they had side ponytails and they dyed their hair gray.”

Random Saturdays – Spring Chicken

Recently, Amanda and I went to Sonic for half-priced shakes.  Since both of our birthdays are in the summer, Amanda and I have been talking alot about birthdays and aging.  The conversation that night started because I mentioned that I was trying to convince a coworker to bring me baked goods for my birthday.  He asked how old I would be, and I said 32.  I called myself a Spring Chicken, but he disagreed.  He wouldn’t even let me have Summer Duck.  Rude.

At any rate, Amanda and I started talking about where we were at different points in our lives and where we thought we’d be by now.  As with most people, none of the plans we had for ourselves have worked out the way we had hoped.  Even so, things have worked out even better than planned.  Life has a way of working out for the best if you will just get the hell out of the way and let it.

Sometimes, The Universe holds up a mirror to focus your attention on a certain aspect of your life that needs fixing.  The Universe has to hold up a mirror, binoculars, and a magnifying glass in order to get my attention.  For example, this time ten years ago, I was preparing to move to Iceland. I moved 4,000 miles and I still couldn’t get away from my problems.  So, I started thinking about things.  I mean, really thinking about things.  Here’s the short version of my thought process:
“Oh, so the problem might be me?  So, it’s all my fault?  Wait, but doesn’t that also mean that I can fix it?  Well pluck my tail feathers and call me Baldy!”

A few years later, The Universe held up a mirror, binoculars, and a magnifying glass to Amanda.  She didn’t move to Iceland, but she had moved in with her boyfriend (who was about 20 years older than her) and his kids (who were pretty close to us in age and still lived at home).  My boyfriend in Iceland was a year younger than me (11 months, whatever).  Rather than grown kids and an ex-wife, it was parents, siblings, cousins, etc. who helped me learn my lessons about life, family, and relationships.  Amanda and I took many years and completely different paths to come to the very same place in our understandings of ourselves and our places within The Universe, including our trip to Sonic for half-priced shakes.

Here are the quotes that made us laugh so hard that night that we randomly repeat them to make each other laugh:

Amanda — If we’re gonna be like 45 or 50 when we start having kids and the men are gonna be 70, then they’re gonna be mad when we die.

Angela — Old men don’t realize they’re supposed to be grateful for anything.
Amanda — Philosophy in the Honda.  “Spring Chicken seeks grateful old man.”  Shit, I thought that’s what it was gonna be like.  I got sideswiped.

A week later, Amanda said that she told her ex (they’re still friends) about the Spring Chicken ad that she was going to put in the paper.  He didn’t think it was funny at all, which we think is hilarious.  Here’s hoping that none of the Spring Chickens reading this get sideswiped by angry 70-year-old men!

Stuff People Say – Poor & Old

For my birthday, I thought I’d share a heart-warming conversation.  One weekend, I met up with Erica and her family.  She and her husband, Richard, were in the front seat of the SUV.  Braylon (9 yo), Eva (10 mo), and I (382 mo) were in the back.

Braylon (Age 9) — Hey, Angela.  You watch Cartoon Network, right?

Me — No, I don’t have cable.

Braylon — But you remember when it was invented, right?