Stuff People Say – Space Dress

Amanda — Look.  This is a space dress.

Angela — Why is it a space dress?  Because it’s aerodynamic?

Amanda — Yeah, and it has a zipper and reminds me of Star Trek.  And it’s made of this material.

Angela — Oh, the cheap itchy material?  Everything in space gives me eczema.

Amanda — And it’s slippery.  When the aliens attack, you can slip right out of it to safety.  And it’s swimming material so you can go swimming in it.  Should you come across waters in space, you’re all set.


Random Saturdays — Heather’s Visit 2013

RQ Babe, Heather, came to visit me last week.  Wednesday night, we went to Studio Movie Grill to see Star Trek:  Into Darkness (again).  We wanted to see it less because of our nerd love for Star Trek (which exists) and more for our hormonal devotion to all the hot dudes in the movie.  I started referring to it as, “Hot Trek:  Into My Pants” and tweeted that we were at SMG watching “Hot Trek” just before we settled in for eye candy and pizza.

The next day, we decided to take advantage of free air conditioning by going to NorthPark Mall and checking out the end of season clearance sales.  The only part of “end of season clearance sales” I really care about is “clearance”.  By the end of Thursday, Heather had a new wardrobe at a great price and I had overpriced candy and discounted underwear.

That night, we met Amanda and Vi for dinner at Scalini’s.  The first question Vi asked me when she sat down was, “Did you watch porn last night?”  That made me wonder if my dad saw my tweet (or the automatic repost to Facebook) with my renaming of Star Trek.  So, I had wine.

We hadn’t seen Vi since the last time Heather visited me, two years ago, even though Vi only lives about 15 minutes away from me.  So,  there was plenty of catching up to do all around.  Vi was stressed out by her current advanced degree studies in genetics, and we encouraged her to switch to something she feels more suited to do.  Vi started asking Amanda about how her schooling is going, and Amanda said that she’s finally settled on a degree on sociology.

Vi — What do you want to do with that degree?
Amanda — Get into social work.
Vi — So is it just because you really wanna be a social worker or…?
Amanda — That and I want to make more money.
The Table — *crickets chirping*
Amanda — You can make money in social work once you get into management.  Like, I wanna eventually make, you know, $45 thousand.

Vi holding up my head because my neck collapsed under the weight of my big Irish head

Vi holding up my head because my neck collapsed under the weight of my big Irish head

The next day, Amanda and I took Heather to Legal Grounds before checking out Froggie’s and Betty Lou.  I don’t mind paying extra at small shops because I like to support small businesses and the local economy, but some things cost even less at these places than they do at giant chain stores.  Afterwards, we headed to the Perot Museum for a day of science and fun.  We ran into Gabriel, who was leaving work as we were arriving.  Amanda and I made dirty jokes about the dinosaur fossils, which is our favorite part of the museum.  After the museum, we walked across the street to El Fenix, which was probably the busiest I’ve ever seen it.  This gave us plenty of time to chat.

I told them about talking to a coworker before I left work on Wednesday to pick up Heather.  He was trying to explain something to me and asked, “Do you have something to draw on?”  I said, “Where’s your mini-whiteboard?!  Why do I spend dollar on you if you’re not even going to use the things I give you?”  This set off a series of jokes about “spend dollar” and Amanda’s $45 thousand.

Amanda told us about the day before she left her ex-boyfriend.  She cleaned so hard that a pimple on her head burst.  She put toilet paper on it in the style of men who cut themselves shaving, then forgot about it being there when she got mad at the other people in the house for being lazy slobs, toilet paper flapping away.  I talked about the time I walked to the store, bought a can of baked beans, walked home, and pulled a pan from the sink full of dirty dishes (thanks to others in the house even though we had just moved in that day.)  I washed the pan, poured in my beans, and cried into them as I listened to my ex-boyfriend talk and laugh heartily with his sister in the other room, even though he hadn’t spoken to me in two weeks.  I didn’t realize that he had already broken up with me for the second time in two weeks without telling me (he didn’t tell me the first time either.)  Amanda and I laughed so hard that we could barely breathe as we told our stories of woe.

Amanda serenading Heather at Scalini's

Amanda serenading Heather at Scalini’s

We also talked about how we liked Heather’s hair.
Me — Yeah, I always tell Heather that I like her highlights.  I usually think highlights look stupid, like they’re a mistake, but her highlights are always so pretty.
Amanda — I’ve been thinking about getting highlights.

Heather’s step-dad gave her money to take us out to dinner, and when Heather went to the bathroom, I tried to explain Heather’s family dynamic to Amanda.
Me — So, her real dad is in prison.  I mean, he’s not in prison.
Amanda — Then who’s in prison?
Me — Nobody

We wiped our tears of laughter away, paid our bill, and Amanda headed home as Heather and I walked to the American Airlines Center to see the New Kids.  Next week, I’ll tell you how the concert began with a broken heart and knee, but ended with giddy joy.

Random Saturdays – Spoiler Free Star Trek Review

As an early birthday present, Amanda took me to see Star Trek: Into Darkness. I have been trying to introduce her to the original Star Trek movies (we’ll work on the different series eventually, I’m sure). So, it was cool that we got to see this one together. There were no crappy teenagers at this movie, even though school is out and crappy teenagers are all over the place now. There was a d-bag in front of us who kept playing on his phone until a few seconds after the movie started. I will never understand why people pay $10 to sit in a movie theater and look at all their boring friends’ boring posts on Facebook. You can do that at home for free and not annoy me. Bah!

At any rate, here is my spoiler-free review of Star Trek: Into The Darkness. So much solar flare. I think J.J. Abrams really outdid himself on the solar flares in this one, surpassing any of his previous solar flare work. Bring your sunglasses into the theater if you know what’s good for you. The movie was incredibly exciting, and the only thing that kept me from having a heart attack is that I’ve seen all them Star Tracks. Even so, I had alot of crazy faces and said things like, “Eee,” “Ungh,” and “Yergh,” during the movie.

Here’s the play-by-play via my internal monologue during the movie: “All of my favorite buddies are here. Is that Mickey? Hi, Sherlock! Hi, Robocop! Is stuff going to happen on this planet? Oh, guess not, but looks like other stuff is happening. Is Sherlock supposed to be someone..? So then, is that girl someone..? What did Scotty see? Poor little tribble. That’s gonna be something. Oh, my. So much debris. I agree with Kirk. Oh, Robocop! Sherlock, so much anger. You should go settle down on an island somewhere and let go of all that negativity. Always good to see Spock. So proud of Spock. I swear, Anton Yelchin keeps getting younger, making me a creepier old lady with each passing day. Oh, this is like when they did that stuff in the future, but it’s in the past, but in the future. Man oh man, good one! Chasing and running! So exciting! Tribbles are so danged cute. So, the first one was about that one thing and this one is kinda like those two things. Does that mean the next one will be like that another thing? These credits are way too long. Nobody really cares about any of these people. If you want credit and attention, you should really find another job. I gotta go to the bathroom.”

To summarize:
If you have not seen the movie, go see it, and bring your sunglasses.
If you have seen it, you know what I mean.